2001 / december / 25
It's been a while
hello, blog. it's been a while.
well, it's been quite a while for a lot of things. people. friends. feels as if
i've been in a big slumber. i am postponing things i need to do; i have been
eating very badly when at home these days; i have rarely slept before the wee,
early hours, that i haven't seen the sun come up is purely to blame on the time
of year; i am walking around with a huge headache that very likely has something
to do with sleeping off-pattern as i've been doing.
i misbehaved terribly to a friend this monday and i still haven't written him
that i am sorry - i have been saying that i've been sorry too often (not to him
ironically since i only see him once a year or so) it feels inflated.
yet i do feel sorry. it needs to come out in my acts, not my words.
to be honest - i am a afraid to write everything here, i realise now,
which has lessened the writing urge. and i took up some time before christmas,
effectively i've been on holiday for over a week now. so i'm not sitting behind
my workstation all day - suits my blogging style much more.
but like this, at home, with some serious soulsearching going on (and fights.
addictions. illusions.) i haven't been pulled to the blog. the writing i have
to do now is private.
(the addiction: dl'ed over 6gb in three days. installed xdarwin, rootless, haven't
got ptkdb working though. Carracho. kdx. and a little Limewire. there you have
it. i feel like i made a trip back to the old nerd days, as if there was some
catching up to do - and hell, i enjoy it, but the hole i was trying to fill is
making its presence clear.)
have a good christmas, y'all. seriously. i know somewhere that there is hope,
that god is helping us all, indeed. take care.
